Swapping months may actually work..

 Growing up together is hard for a married couple.  We got married when I was 17 and Jay was 18.  Not only did we have to learn how to cook and clean basically as children, we also had to learn how to budget a small amount of money to keep a roof over our head and food in our mouths.  Jayson was born 4 1/2 months after we were married, so basically from day one we also have had children to worry about.  We have been married 26 years and have never been children free, or bill free.  Money has gotten tight again, for most people, it is just like starting over again as young kids.  We, like many other families have resorted to living paycheck to paycheck once again, and trying how to leave money in the bank for groceries, etc.  I once gave this burden to Jay because I was stressed out around 20 years ago, and as young as he was and being a guy, it didn't exactly go as I had planned, I had to take the reigns again.  Now that we are in our 40's, he has gone through the construction drop and the unemployment lines, he is as frugal as Hell and is working steadily again with as much overtime as possible, knowing it could stop again tomorrow.  Many times he would put his paycheck in the bank as I have and we would have no money left and he would say.."I just put my check in! How can we be broke!?"  As hard as it is to explain the expense of living, including a very active teenage daughter, I decided to start trading months with him and let him budget and pay bills, figure out allowances etc, every other month.  It's definitely working.  I am amazed at how he can pinch a penny, get bills paid and it has also made me aware of how much money I easily spend.  I get paid daily and have for 23 years so I always have cash coming in.  Having to hand it over to him nightly and ask for money for gas, Stevi's guitar lessons, her make-up, milk etc., has made me stay on a much tighter budget.  Last night we were able to buy the kids (Jayson and Guoda) dinner, as well as Stevi and Alyssa...something we haven't been able to do in a long time.  I know we can't do that weekly like my family traditions used to be.  Even when we were broke, my mom and dad found a way, even if we made it to Denny's.  Those Friday nights are missed by all of us.  I felt bad because I didn't know that Jay was going to pay for all of us... and Jayson and Guoda were upset that Grandma wasn't there.  The only reason I didn't invite her is because she hates driving in the dark and I know she is on a tight budget as well.  If I had known we had enough money, she would have been there I'm sure.  Our family has grown and it is hard to fit Friday night dinners into the budget, but we have been looking for a new place to live and the one we are turning an application in for tomorrow is big enough to entertain and I will definitely Implement family get togethers once a month as a pot luck if we can't afford to feed everybody.  For now, I am pretty impressed with Jay's ability to balance money.  Stevi is going to prom and needs to get her dress.  Guoda gave her two prom dresses to keep in the event she can't get the once she wants......Prom is expensive and Daddy is in charge.....Ought to be very interesting.....

"A Prince in Heaven"

With heavy hearts we feel sadness, anger and confusion

when someone leaves before we are ready.

 Feeling numb and like zombies we go throughout our day

While a loved ones world has just been turned upside down.

We reach out for just the right words so say with kindness

love and gentleness

Some of us left with nothing  to say at all 

yet we all wonder,  why him?

It wasn't time yet , it was way too soon

he was young with a beautiful wife and family

who loved him with all their hearts,

 He has gone to a faraway place some only dream about.

After the pain has settled to a softness 

and your tears from heaven rain on your family

know that love and prayers surround them

with the kindness and love you once held onto each one of them.

You are now in a better place and not forgotten

neither will your family be

they will be surrounded by friends 

so they feel loved until they meet you again.

Rest in peace.......

It is with sadness that I dedicate this poem to Wendy, Morgan, Myrissa, Austin and Cammy.

Fun Fact and Senses.........

Creative Expression? or Weird?

Being broke in this economy and also needing date time with the Hubs and mindless evenings for my sanity, I now rely on Groupon or Deal Chicken for the deals of the day to actually be able to justify a date, even though every couple in the world needs to date each other forever to erase the mundane details of our lives.  The Groupon I found last week was a dinner and show package to see Senses at the  Grand Sierra Resort and the dinner package was for Briscola, their Italian restaurant , the deal was dinner and the show for 2 for $27.  Sold!  Now I do have to say that I have never even heard of Briscola and not only was the ambiance beautiful but the dinner was delicious.  I had the Swordfish with buttered asparagus, Jay had Linguini with clams, which Jay loved and for desert, my girlfriend Lori and I split the vanilla bean with honey fruit .  YUMMY!  The show, well the show....how do I explain this.  Jay said "It was better than mowing the lawn..." and we all agreed.  The costumes were beautiful and the women were beautiful, no doubt.  I am not sure but the show was an expression of sexual freedom, appealing to all sexualities, gay or straight, there was one violent expression.  They were all in great shape, but the choreography was a bit umm... confusing.  The blond naked lady on the screen with a voice that sounded like she was trying to be sexy on Helium, completely confused me and threw me off, then she would walk naked through the audience and let men smell her...?

Grand Sierra Resort

This may have been a cultural expression we didn't understand.  There were quite a few Asians at the show that seemed to really enjoy it.  The Caucasians in the group all seemed confused.  The clapping was more like a confused golf clap.  Like Jay said, better than mowing the lawn, and the dinner was fantastic.

Money, Money, Money

Now for the fun fact.  Jay worked for Accurate Concrete from 1994-1998, and they poured the front steps and loading docks at Grand Sierra Resort, but at the time I believe it was the Hilton.  They did what the call a "Money Pour".  When they were filling in the steps and the loading dock, they dug one area of the loading dock, by the Sports book, so the North West loading dock, deeper and filled it with old casino chips.  That is how Casino's get rid of old chips.  Fun Fact!  Have a great week!

27 reasons why he's been my Valentine for 27 years.....

 For 27 years he has been my tried and true Valentine......I love you so much Honey.  Here is a small list of reasons......27 to be exact......

Prom 1985

1.  You think I'm pretty without any make-up on.
2.  You think I'm cute even though I'm a Bull in a China Store.
3.   You like my butt...even though it's not quite the same as it used to be.
4.   You make me perfect eggs for breakfast , because I suck at it.
5.   You hold me when I need it, even though it hurts you shoulder.
6.   You cry with me, over everything and nothing.
7.   You are tough for me when I can't be anymore.
8.   You laugh at me or with me when I am standing there confused and forgot what I am doing.
9.   You do your own laundry so I don't have yet another chore to do.
10.   You make the bed when I forget (sometimes) 
11.   You have been my best friend no matter how stupid I've been.
12.   You love me even though I am turning into my Mother more and more every day.
13.   You gave me two beautiful children.
14.   You helped with my Mom's dog, no questions asked late at night.
15.   You've held my purse for me in bar fights (lol had to throw that one in!)
16.    You try helping fold laundry , (it's not pretty, but I love that you are helping)
17.   You worry too much about me.
18.   You cook a majority of dinners when we are home together and make sure we eat right.
19.   You make me coffee on the weekends.
20.    You take me on dates when I need it no matter how small.
21.   You make me miss you when you're gone.
22.   You send me sweet and romantic text messages every single day, no matter how long we've been apart.
23.   You drive when I'm too tired or having a Hypo-glycemic attack.
24.   You always think I smell good.. ( That CAN'T be true)
25.   You still stare at me.
26.   You always kiss me like you mean it.
27.   You tell me everyday how much you love me.

Wedding 1986

Happy 25th Birthday to my Lillybug!

Some names have been changed to protect the innocent.......................

My beautiful Lillybug

 Christmas Eve, 2002 I was at work when I got a frantic call from my 16 year old son Jayson....He was so upset and inconsolable I couldn't understand him for a minute.  After he calmed down, he was able to tell me about the girl he had been talking to on MySpace all night, and that she had just gotten kicked out of her house and she didn't know where she was going to sleep.  After calming him down, he told me the story of a young sweet girl who was sleeping from friend to friend because her mother had kicked her out and brought her to a half way house to live.  She of course at 15 did not want to be put into the system.  That day, God blessed me in many ways.  One way was that my client at that precise moment was a Social Worker who worked with the Children's Cabinet here in Reno.  We put Jayson on speaker phone and then we 3 way called the phone number that Lilly was waiting at.  She had no where to go, her father had gone off with a girlfriend to Malta and her Mother had given up.  I called my husband Jay and he said..."Do what you need to do to help her..."  I then called her Mother who couldn't talk long because she was late for a lunch appointment but promptly gave me her fax number and I sent her forms to notarize to sign over all parental rights to me and Jay.  When I asked her what she needed to know about us, her response was ..."I'm sure you're a nice person, I'm late, fax me the paperwork."  Jayson went to Christine's office to get the paperwork and bring it to my job and Jay's job for us to sign and within a matter of 4 hours we had full guardianship.  Now to get her here.  Because of Christmas, we couldn't get her until the 26th so my family postponed Christmas at our house and Jay spent 2 days tearing apart my office while my Mom and I went to Rick's furniture Warehouse to buy her a bed,  bedding and essentials.  (When she arrived she had a backpack and a Viola) Jay painted her room, we bought a phone to plug into the teen line we had for Jayson and stocked the kids bathroom with girl stuff that we thought she would need.  Dec. 26th came and Jay went to pick her up at the airport while my family and I were hitting the after Christmas sales to get her enough presents under the tree to feel like part of the family.  I just wanted her to know that she had a home no matter what.  Poor girl, can you imagine a shaved bald Harley construction guy with a leather vest picking you up to go to your new home?  I had only spoken to her the one time and Jayson had handled most of it.  But when I heard that girls voice on the other end, scared and defeated, I knew she needed us.  It was and exhausting 48 hours and she took a few days to adapt.  After all, Jayson literally found her on MySpace.  She lived with us through the rest of her high school years and never gave us any problems, she was a typical teen that had been thrown away from a Mother and Father that were selfish.  Her mother said to me at one time "I'm sure you want money for this, but I'm done raising children, it's my turn now."  I was dumbfounded.  The first time I saw Lilly, I fell in love with her and my family opened their arms to her, my children accepted her as one of us immediately and she squeezed in like she always needed to be with us.  Today she is 25 years old and is blessing us with our 2nd Grandchild Stella in March.  Stevi and I will be taking a road trip to Tacoma to see her and meet Stella and hopefully Ry her hubby.  I love her and miss her everyday now that she is grown up and starting a family of her own.  She hasn't spoken to her biological mother in over a year and as much as that probably hurts her, she knows she has a mother out there that will love her forever unconditionally.  I love you my Lillybug, Happy Birthday.......

An amazing gift to us...

What did I get for X-Mas 2002? A 15 year old daughter...

Fight Fair and other marriage tips.....

Ahh Young love

Jay and I have been married for 25 1/2 years so I can speak from experience.  Our marriage hasn't always been perfect but we love each other despite all of our flaws, mistakes and imperfections.  We got married when I was 17, he was 18.  3 days after he graduated Reed. 1 day after I graduated from Hug. I was pregnant with our first child Jayson.  I guess you could say he was definitely a love child.

The circle of trust 

 Our life hasn't always been easy, perfect or  carefree.  But we have always been able to give each other the respect of forgiveness for our wrong doings, however hurtful, embarrassing or stupid they may have been.  Some have been costly, some have almost cost us our marriage but they all have brought us closer together and taught us when to walk away, when to discuss the problem and when to just forgive and forget. 


When we got married at the young age we were, we were passionately and fearlessly in love, we agreed that night in our hotel room at The Nugget (that was all the Honeymoon we could afford) to never go to bed mad, to always have each others backs no matter what  and to never name call.  (To be honest that last one was broken a few times but shit happens).

And it's on

 Words can hurt more that a slap, a punch, throwing things, how ever some fights could end up.  Why do we try, really try, to use words that cut the deepest to the people we love the most?  We love each other so why would we want to hurt each other so deeply.  I'm not going to say we have never pointed fingers or cussed each other out or belittled each other because that would be a lie.  But we have learned the art and importance of forgiveness and saying I am sorry and fighting at a talking level with respect and listening and always saying 'I love You' despite an angry situation.


If there is anything I have learned since June 7,1986. It's Compassion, Forgiveness, Patience and Kindness , loving each other unconditionally and realizing that the Grass isn't any Greener, if you think it is, it's time to fertilize your own.

ABSOLUTELY NO FINGER POINTING!

True Love..............

 Has it really been over 4 years?  I guess it has.  Jayson went through girls so fast when he was younger I didn't want to get to know them because I am the kind of person who falls in love with a person for who they are when I meet them.  I remember the first time I saw her sitting on my couch.  Jayson was watching Jack for Chrissi and there was a beautiful young girl sitting there just smiling.

New in the relationship

 My first thought was, too soon, don't look at her.  But that young girl, stood up, towered over me in my own home and stuck her hand out to introduce herself to me, looked me in the eye and said "Hi, my name is Guoda."  That was it, I was screwed, she gave me eye contact.  I tried to walk away, but I remember going into the kitchen and thinking, why is she here with my son, who has this brand new baby to take care of?

Always smiling these two...

 I looked back at her and she was looking at him and Jack and I thought......Oh no.  At the time, I wasn't sure that Jayson was ready to have a baby let alone a relationship.  He had just received a MIC (Minor in Consumption the day before his 21st birthday ) and was on his way to jail on Nov. 7th 2007 when he asked her to be his girlfriend.

Or not...

 She actually called me crying and asked me what to do.  I told her to run the other direction as fast as possible..(sorry Jayse)  but she said "I can't , my mom told me too also, I just can't"  I told her..."Honey I can't tell you what to do, but follow your heart, just be careful...he will hurt you." She stuck by her bad boy.

 They met at a house party in October of 2007.  She leaned over to her friend and told her , "That boy will be mine, I'm going to marry him someday."

 That girl that I didn't want to get attached to, very quickly became part of our family.  She fits in on so many levels it's insane.  I love my son but many times I have told him, "If you mess this up, you are a complete idiot, you're out, she's in."

A normal conversation with my family at lunch at the Diner

 Not only has Guoda fit in, she has made my son realize the value of family, commitment and love.  He is so devoted to her it's almost sickening but as a mother, when I see them together my heart breaks with joy because she is "The One".  I know she is.  It hasn't always been easy for them or perfect, but love never is.  Love is patient, love is kind...You know the drill.  She has loved him through his good times and bad times.  She had a dream about them after the first time she saw him.  I believe that was a premonition dream.

Jayson, Guoda, Hart and Raider on my couch.

 Our family is forever expanding.  I can't wait to add her to our tree.  Stevi and Jay both love her as much as I do, she fits in like the missing puzzle piece.  She has made my son become a man I can be proud of.  She has completed him.  She is his better half.

At the Rodeo, Guoda's first time, she cried about the Momma and baby horses, reason #786 why I love her so much.

 Not only are they both working full time, she is going to school and got him to register! (Thank you Loverface!)  and she is so much like me and Stevi, her wedding is completely prepared for the end of June.

A normal family evening.

 Jayson was recently on the news for the Bridal Showcase, he was the only groom to be that would be interviewed, (red flag other brides!)  and I was never more proud when I heard his interview, every inch of him exuded a man completely in love with the woman he would spend the rest of his life with.

 Guoda has prepared furiously to the second.  Mind you, there is still 6 1/2 months left. She has the Venue secured, the Minister ready to go, the DJ , Cake, Invitations.  Florist, Photographer and her bridesmaids in order, (Stevi is so honored to be one of them)  Bridesmaids dresses were chosen by her beautiful maid of honor Justine, (That is going to be an incredibly beautiful bridal party, you have no idea!) and the Tuxes picked out.

 When June comes, I can't wait.  I will have another beautiful daughter that God has blessed me with.  Like the missing puzzle piece, she will always complete our family.

Engagement photos

 I am so proud of you both, and Guoda, welcome to our family.  I can't wait to call you my daughter-in-law.  I can't tell you how elated I truly am.

My personal favorite

In Grandma Harrington's famous rocker with Chyla

Stevi and Guoda celebrating Thanksgiving

So In Love.

That about sums it up