Tales from the Chair Chapter 5

 I had lunch with my girlfriend today who is also a client and she always has the funniest stories...once again the names have been changed to protect the guilty!  My friend "Terri"  Lives on Manzanita Lane in the more upper scale area of Reno and at least once a month the neighborhood gets together to keep caught up with each other.  These parties started out as potlucks and have become almost a competition with bands, bouncers, bartenders and completely catered events.  Some obviously have more money to throw around than others.  The last party, Terri decided to wear all white because everybody else always has black on at these ritzy parties, so she wore some soft flowing white slacks and an off the shoulder sweater. She stood out I am sure as she is VERY blond naturally and has grey-blue eyes and skin like porcelain....quite a unique beauty......So the alcohol was flowing freely and people were getting absolutely hammered. "Ronald" who is a well known vet in town showed up with his sassy boy toy on his arm "Serge"  Also present were some well know leaders in the community "Arnold" and his wife "Lisa" .  "Carol"  who is the bitch on the block was also present.  (Umm can you say Wisteria Lane?)  Terri and Carol got into almost a physical fight over a white elephant gift that Carol had to have and Terri was trying to win it for her 2 year old little girl.  Terri was only having 2 glasses of wine that evening because her daughter was at home with her mother and neither would have mercy on her if she came home drunk.....So after Carol and Terri started a tug of war with the designer elephant......Terri won, Carol fell over and started screaming in Terri's face to the chagrin of everyone at the party.  A little later on into the evening Arnold got sloppy fall down drunk and was hanging on all the women so Lisa was looking for some somewhat sober men to help her 70 something year old husband walk up the street and while she was doing that, Arnold got his sights set on Terri,  so he very casually lifted his grey eyebrow and walked/stumbled sideways towards Terri, and as if in slow motion, fell about 5 feet in front of her, all the while reaching out towards her off the shoulder top and pulling it down around her waist while slamming her up against the wall!!  In the meantime, Serge, Ronald's boy toy pulled a switchblade out on one of the guests and the bouncers came and pushed his fancy little tush outside, so he sat outside yelling for Ronald to come out to go home with him, but Ronald was too drunk to even know what was going on.  Wow,  Boobs, knives, gays, drunks and bitches, I live in a very sheltered neighborhood!!