Sunday, April 12, 2009

Depression.......I hate it......

I am not one to start a pity party.  I always want people to see me as the "Mrs. Brightside" person.  I am good at pretending.  This morning I was laying in bed, for around 2 hours with my eyes closed thinking about everything I need to get done.  My Mom called.  Why is it that when you need to let it out, all it takes is hearing your Mom's voice?  So I started to cry.  I HATE CRYING!  I am Bubba.  I'm tired, stressed, depressed and defeated.  We are losing our house (so are alot of other people)  business is slow, Jay took another cut in pay and may not have another job when this one is finished, I am STILL dealing with identity theft, bill collectors and trying to move.  Oh happy day.  I just lost one of my best friends in the world to breast cancer.  Why am I depressed?  No reason.  Everyday I work I have to put on a happy face, and around friends and family so when I do finally break down I hear....."What is wrong with you?"  I do need a day to be sad, to absorb all that is happening, to feel, to cry.  I just need to cry.......No, you can't fix it.  Only I can.  This too shall pass but for today..........I will let myself feel it, because tomorrow.......I am Bubba........

3 comments:

Chrissy and Jack said...

When I'm feeling like this, reading Twilight always cheers me up. I'm just sayin'.... =)

Ok, seriously, I'm really glad that your mom called though and you were able to talk to her. Aren't moms amazing like that?

Mom said...

Hang in there. This too shall pass. I love you!

Madre Adoptiva said...

Mom has a knack of bringing me to tears too.

I fully understand why you're depressed and I would be too. I love you!