Thursday, November 15, 2012

Today is going to be a good day.......

 Skipping the gym today.... hitting the dirt with my mom. Yay! A hiking day!  My day doesn't start at work until 4 so this makes for a good workout before work.   My mom and I are usually attached at the hip but lately life has gotten busy.  Well namely when Jay moved.  I now fill all my just sitting waiting for Stevi gaps with work when possible, which is great that I have clients that I can do that with, but it sure makes for a weird sporadic schedule.  Tonight I have two cuts at 4...go home, grab Stevi, get her to cheer, go back to do a color, pick up Stevi and stay for a parent meeting until around 9.

So starting my day with fresh air, cardio and laughter....awesome.  Have a great day today all, mine will be... I can feel it!

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

1st class for me scheduled!

 With Stevi scheduled to take her driving test, I am optimistic and have scheduled another sewing class.  I haven't had the time to finish a few projects, a shirt, a runner and a quilt, a tablecloth, and lounge pants for all of us, so I actually paid for a day of uninterrupted sewing.  Its from 9-3:30 the last Monday of the month and hopefully I can complete these projects before I start to conquer some more.  A good friend of mine gave me, yes gave me a Serger which I can't wait to use.  So for now, that's my goal, to finish all my unfinished sewing projects.....One day a month of no phone, no work, no driving, nothing but sewing.  I'm I a dork....probably...Oh and Guoda....don't plan on your Christmas stocking I started knitting..... I don't think it will ever be finished........See if Liz will knit one for you ;-)

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Am I supposed to miss him this much...?

 Am I supposed to miss him this much?  We've lived together since 1985... you would think some time away would be refreshing.  That's what all the other wives tell me.  "Enjoy it!"  They say.
 How can I enjoy it when I look over at the empty side of the bed and long to see him there.  I hate sleeping alone.  I thought I loved it.  I haven't slept alone since June 1986 other than a few bouts of normal marriage woes , snoring, fighting etc.
 Is it normal at my age after this many years to cry because you miss someone so much it actually creates pain in your chest?  Over the years you become comfortable, even resentful at times.   But you are together to get angry with each other and a simple touch, kiss or hug can make it better in a second.  With 400 miles plus between us, I can't just fall into his arms after a bad day, or sit and laugh with him as he makes a romantic table in the front yard with flowers and wine for all the neighbors to see and come tell us how cute we are.
I miss him.  To the point I feel lonely, and angry that the only communication for us is via text or phone calls which I am usually running around with 20 things to do so then I don't give him the full attention he deserves even if for a few minutes. I had my breakdown moment again last night.  I should be able to get passed this but the job is 10 years and I think that is what is stuck in my head.  I know women do this everyday. Even though he doesn't always want to do the things I want to do when he is here...He is here. His presence is soothing. I want to hold his hand, kiss him good morning and good night...nudge him when he snores too loud and feel the warmth of his body at night.  I miss him staring at me for no reason and watching me get ready because he finds it beautiful.

I know we have a long road ahead of us...and you would think being as busy as I am between work, chores, Stevi and opening a new salon I wouldn't have time to think... but its amazing what the brain does to you when you miss somebody this much.  It debilitates you, wears you down and depresses you.  I am keeping as busy as possible, I'm just sad and angry that he's not here . But it's for our future and we are slowly getting bills paid off and paid down.....there is a the end of the RV...

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Bonding 101

Xtreme Allstar Cheer Squad 2012

Team bonding is a tradition and has been for years.  When Stevi was made Captain of her cheer squad, the first thing she said was "We need a bonding party".  And she was right.  Last night was a complete success.  Only one girl decided not to come and it is sad because it was definitely her loss.  The girls have not had any time to get to know each other on a personal level, because at a competition level practice, that's all you do is practice.  No personal banter, no laughter, all concentration, all work.

The girls got to know each other , the music they like, all the things that you don't know can put a wedge into a team, the things you learn can weld you together.  They had a few bonding games, blind make-overs, Fugitive to name a couple.  Lost of pizza and soda and laughter.  The most successful sleepover I've ever had at my house.

Our next bonding party will be December 1st... hope the all know how to roller skate!

Friday, November 9, 2012


Sacrifices made to conquer dreams
can shatter a heart right at the seams

A smile on your face while knowing true love
when the one that you need, you can only dream of

A text, a call, a card in the mail
doesn't make up for trips that will fail

My heart needs to see you and feel you near
daily I wish that your face would appear

I know you are there because of your love
I pray to God and the heavens above

I hope to see you soon and fall into your arms
I miss every bit of your romantic charms

Distance, they say, makes the heart grow fonder
Never again is that a thought I will ponder

So don't mind me as I fall to pieces
Cry all night into my pillow creases

You are my best friend, the love of my life
Thank you for this.......your loving wife