When you have been with the same person for 26 years, sometimes you start to question......Why am I here? I have to constantly remind my husband that I am still here, that I am a woman, that I have needs. Women like romance, a gentle touch, a kind word, consideration, communication. Why are we cut from two different molds? I have been a hormonal mess lately, I know it could be that. Or is it that at age 42, I just don't feel like I have to put up with anyones crap anymore? It is kind of a good place to be, and not. My whole life I have been trying to make sure everyone around me is happy, comfortable. I have always put myself last, as most women do. Who is going to make sure I am ok? The only person who will is me. So I am working on it. It has been an emotional month, talking and discussing what I want, need and desire to be happy. Weird thing, he agreed with everything I said....EVERYTHING. He wants to work on our relationship as bad as I do.....but I am so exhausted from being the only one who tries to make sure everything is o k. The ball is in his court.......I am going to focus on me. Selfish? Maybe........About Damn Time? Probably...........Will this make our relationship stronger? I hope so........I'm just tired.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Laughed so hard it hurt, then wondered what was so funny?
Loved so much you cry and then realize you don't know why?
Thought until you were in pain only to realize you'll never know the answer?
Felt unconditional love and wondered why it wasn't reciprocated?
Looked into the most beautiful eyes you've ever seen only to be asked, "What are you staring at?"
Wanted to hug someone so badly but you were afraid to take that step forward?
Smiled at someone across the room and it was never returned?
Ask someone how their day was only to be scowled at?
Just wanted a simple 'Thank You?'
Wondered why you could be so sad but yet seem to have it all?
Wanted a tender touch and no words........?
Woken up wondering just what today will bring and not want to get out of bed?
Have you ever?.............
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
|Did I get hit by a train!?|
|A little Rusty around the edges.|
|How I'm sure I'll feel tomorrow...|
Push ups 15 and 10
Wide Grip Band pull downs with purple band 15 and 17
Military Push ups with knees 10 and 5
Reverse Grip Band pull downs purple 12 and 13
Wide Fly Push Ups with knees 13 and 12
Close Grip overhead band pull downs purple 15 and 10
Decline Pushups with feet on coffee table 10 and 8
Heavy Pants 8lbs 15 then 15 lbs 10
Diamond Push ups with knees 10
Lawnmowers 8 lbs 15 then 15 lbs 10
Dive Bomber push ups 8 1/2 and 7 1/2
Back Flys 8 lbs 16 then 15 lbs 9
Abs...............good Lord , supposed to do 25 of ea. only did 10-12 of ea. exercise.......
V-up Toe ups
Seated Crunchy Frogs
Bicycle forward then back
Heels to Heaven (why did it feel like Hell then?)
Oblique V- ups
Leg Climbs Phase 1
In and Outs
Mason Twist (about 14 on each side)
Hip Rock and Raise
Roll up V-up Combos
Yup, that's it in a nutshell, now to go grab Stevi and Daivee from Cheer, I'm sure they will love how I look and smell.............Tomorrow 4 am Plyometrics, (That one is the hardest from what I remember..................) Good night!
My mom commented on yesterdays blog worried that we weren't going to get to Achieve to workout, I would still like to but as life happens it seems my best bet is to fit it into my schedule whenever possible, tonight at 6:00 while Stevi is at Cheer practice. Tomorrow at 4 am because I work a 12 hour day. Do I want to get up at 4 am....hell no! But I do want to get into shape again. Mom, you can follow along at home with me if you'd like, and yes I will still walk and go to Achieve with you and of course go on day long hikes......we will make it work.
Today is day one of P90X, this morning I had 2 proteins and 8 oz. of water so far, and I found and app for my iphone called Eat Right 90 which logs your intake according to what level (I'm a Level 1) and Phase (Phase 1) you are, it also shows you portions sizes and calories, I need to keep my calories at around 1800 which for me seems like a lot so it should be easy, especially if you are eating healthy you eat a lot more food. I am actually a little sore from the Fit Test yesterday and weighed in at 135.4 lbs today (hmmm Ben and Jerry's?) but my biceps are sore from the 41 freaking curls I did! Tonight is Chest, Back and Abs so I should be OK.......I will have to start with my bands until I get strong enough to use my chin up bar. Jay is working out of town, so technically I am a single mom with 2 incomes and a long distance text boyfriend. Perfect time to embark on a new exercise program, the TV hasn't been on since Sunday, I actually missed Sons of Anarchy last night (recording is awesome) So I will watch it with Jay this weekend if he gets home. I will let you know how I am feeling tomorrow.......4am is going to come very early especially after I have a workout so late tonight. If I can fit it in so can you! Let's do this!!!!!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
As many of you know, I try to stay as active as possible, but being Hungarian/German it never seems to be enough, not to mention that I love food. So in addition to hiking and doing as much outdoors activity as I can and an occasional trip to the gym with my mom, I am starting my P90X program tomorrow and I will take you all that are interested on the 90 day journey with me. I have plenty of before picture (thankfully with clothes on!) So I will spare you those but I did do the fitness test today to see if I am in good enough shape to start tomorrow. Even though I haven't been working out like I should and it has been an occasional hurry up and exercise moment I am in much better shape than I thought! (Thanks Mom for always being there when I want to walk 6 miles to lunch during a cancellation!) Now for the disgusting truth, I will be brutally honest here is the fit test for today.........
Right Thigh 19"
Left Thigh 20"
Biceps 11" (they match!!)
Resting Heart Rate 65
Pull -ups.... Not a one! Maybe 1/8th of one ( I will be able to in 90 days!)
Vertical Leap 9"
Push-ups 16 Full form no knees (yes!)
Toe Touch...exact, no more no less
Wall Squat 1 min. 2 sec. (whew passed with 2 extra seconds!)
Bicep curls with 8 lb weights 41.......(need to start with heavier dumbbells for sure!)
In & Outs 25 (those are like a crunch while you balance on your butt)
2 Minutes of Jumping Jacks and monitor heart rate upon stopping.......
167 bpm upon stopping
137 after 1 minute
114 after 2 minutes
103 after 3 minutes
96 after 4 minutes (the idea is the faster you recover the better shape you are in, I used to recover much faster!)
The next 3 weeks my schedule will be ........
Day 1 Chest & Back, Ab Ripper X (1 hr and 10 mins.)
Day 2 Plyometrics (59 mins)
Day 3 Shoulders & Arms , Ab Ripper X (1 hr. 15 mins)
Day 4 Yoga X (1 hr 30 Mins)
Day 5 Legs & Back, Ab Ripper X (1 hr 15 mins)
Day 6 Kenpo X (56 mins)
Day 7 Rest (ahhhhhhh........)
I know not all of you have the program but there is a guideline if you have equipment or videos at home or even go to the gym you could maybe improvise and workout with me, keeping your own log.......feel free to post any accomplishments or questions you may have, I would love to inspire you or be inspired by you! Good night!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
I take Stevi and Daivee with me to Walmart to go Shopping because.....
A. I hate to go alone.
B. It's faster when I give them coupons and they are off on their scavenger hunt style shopping.
C. They distract me from looking at the other shoppers.
Is it a compliment when you get hit on in Walmart? How about if the man could be your father? How about if he says.."I hope you don't mind my saying , but you are in great shape." ?
Am I in great shape in general? Or compared to the other Walmart shoppers? Or is he saying that to me because he saw me with two teenage girls? Dirty old man or sweet guy giving a gal a compliment ? No make-up on today and wearing Stevi's hand-me-downs with a handful of coupons on a Saturday as I battle the other crazy shoppers brave enough to go to Walmart on a Saturday at noon. I'm still not sure but after the shock of the guy saying that to me in isle 7 then following me down isle 6 , 5 and again in the produce section.........I'll take it as a backhanded compliment. I thanked him but as I pushed my cart away from him looking for my next coupon item, I laughed as I told the girls and the responses I got from them were......Daivee...."Ooh Creepy" and Stevi......"Gross"........hmmmmmmmm...
Saturday, July 31, 2010
While reading Sundays paper I saw an ad for a Women's Networking dinner. I have often thought about going to a networking group, but this one caught my attention because it was for women business owners. I thought what the heck and signed up. It was $60 for the dinner , knowing that if I got one new client out of the dinner it would pay for my dinner. The day after I got a call from one of the gals that was sitting at my table, she needs a new hairdresser and needs cut and color. That will pay for my dinner twice. Is it worth it? I think so, not only was dinner delicious, but the women there were all wonderful, I was also introduced to the lady who owns Gesture, her name is Holly Evers, and not only have I bought gifts in her store but every time I have gone in there to even browse, she has been very nice. I will go back. Now I have a reason to go back to dinner next month, if I get one new client a month, it is worth the time and socializing. Not only that, they have a guest speaker every month. This month was a reminder to me that positive outlooks are contagious, if you are negative, whether it is because you are broke, sad, or just not having a good day, your clients will feel it and their experience with you will be negative as well. Part of retaining a happy clientele is to always be truly positive and upbeat, they will feel it and your day will go much smoother as well. We all have people in our lives that are negative, sometimes we need to distance ourselves from them if we can't remind them to be positive with us because it is a much better way to be and better for our health and energy. I know you all have felt the negativity of someone around you, it weighs you down, makes you feel heavy and lethargic. This week try to keep a positive outlook all week, look on the bright side, if there seems to be none, find one and be cognisant of how your day goes, even your week. Please post on my wall any experiences this brings you and how it changed your week. We could all use a LOT of positive energy right now, don't you think?
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
It's been a great fun filled family summer so far. A lot of playing at the pool and relaxing, and as this summer comes to an end, so does another very short chapter in my life.
I am a creature of habit and I don't like to move around a lot. As of September 1st I will be moving to yet another location to do hair. As many of you know, I closed my salon, Salon Moxie after 5 years in February and moved to a good friends salon in transition. It has given me 5 clear headed months to think on what is important to me at this time in my life and help me decide where I want to be. In a mellow nice relaxing environment. The salon I moved to was great, don't get me wrong, but I have been doing hair for 20 years and have worked in big salons and in my own small salon. I often said if it didn't work out, I would just open a little studio that would be just me.......I have found an opportunity to do just that. There is a new building that offers Salon Studios at 2990 Sullivan Ln. right across from Wildcreek golf course. As always, you can reach me on my cell phone at 775-830-8025 for an appointment, but until August 30, I will be at Divine Creations. So hope to see you at Studio 6 sometime soon!!!!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Taxi driver, Grandma, Hairdresser, hiker, housekeeper, cook, appointment organizer, meal menu consultant, budget co-ordinator, friend, family personal assistant, accountant, property seeker,soccer mom, volleyball mom, modeling and acting audition manager, family game day organizer, grocery and coupon president, personal trainer, tax and bookkeeper, crafter, make-up artist........the list is endless. No wonder I have no time to blog.......sorry, someday I may be able to sit down at the computer for longer than 5 minutes again..........
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
I got word today. I was told I would hear by March 5th so I wasn't really expecting to hear back so quickly. But I got the job I sent a resume for to Abba. My first training is a three day training in Denver March 14-16th. I won't be traveling near as much as I did with Matrix I am sure, but am excited to become an educator again. This is also a company that is 100% Vegan and natural. In this day and time going green is more than a trend. Abba is going to introduce a stronger line of styling products this year as well as cutting, which is right up my alley. I am sure I will have to move up the ranks just as any newbie would, but I am looking forward to the challenge and changing my styling and cleansing line that I use in the salon and for retail. I will have this complete product line memorized before Denver and will be completely ready to roll before training. The look is a bit more natural, so be prepared for a toned down version of me, at least hair wise. Onward and upward.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
My friend Shannon played Volleyball in high school and is still amazingly gifted at pretty much anything she does athletically. She is coming over today at noon to pick up Stevi and go work on some volleyball skills to get Stevi ready for her Middle School try outs on February 23rd. She is already pretty good but I know Shannon will be able to fine tune her and get her skills up to par. She has already been told at school that she is going to make the team, but nothing in life is free and you have to work at everything you do. Just because someone tells you you made it, doesn't mean you actually made it until that day arrives. Never take anything for granted.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Yesterday was my last day operating as a salon owner. Everyone but Christi had moved all their stuff out but Christi wasn't working, it was hollow, empty, serene. Funny that the day I made the final decision to close the doors, the first client I told was Randy (the witch with the broken arm, cuz she ran into a tree) and yesterday the first client of my day was Jeanine. They have become friends over the years, and they are the talented artists that painted my beautiful murals in the salon. Girls need each other. We are all going through tough times in our lives right now for various reasons, most of them economical. But you always know who your friends are in these times. They are the ones who offer help, a shoulder to cry on and to just be there, without asking for anything in return. Last night Jeanine knew I was done around 7 and she and Randy showed up with a bottle of wine, and a beautiful wine glass, a camera, salami, chips, salsa and guacamole. With hugs and tears they were just there. Just there. Men would never be able to understand the value of this. Girls just know when you just need some one there to laugh, cry and well just take the time to be there. I did a lot yesterday with the help of my Mom and my friends Cheri and Gini also volunteered their time but I had it pretty much under control. By the time they showed up, it was wrapping up at the end of the night and it was just what I needed. I cried as they took pictures with me in front of the mural (I'm sure that one is a picture for the internet) and had a nice glass of wine with them and just felt happy to have true friendship and camaraderie. Thanks guys, it was just just what the "witch" Doctor ordered..........I love you both dearly.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Happy! Today is a new day and I choose to be happy. Today I will smile and laugh. Choosing these pictures made me smile. I will go to work and "Git er done." Today I challenge you to think of your life, your memories and when one makes you smile, take a moment to call that person, don't text message them just take a moment to call them and share that memory with them and make them smile today too. I promise you it will be rewarding!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Jeez, let the body get cold. Today, my landlord came in to get a key and to tell me how sorry he was that I was closing the doors. Then about an hour later, two young girls came in to look at the space........while I was working on two clients, packing boxes and shutting my salon down, then started asking me questions about how much he charged me for my space lease, and other money questions..............REALLY!!!! Lucky I had my hands in color or they may have been around her pretty little neck! Call the owner, why in the hell would you think that was appropriate? On either end. I understand he needs to rent the space but it is mine until February 2nd. You would think he would let me close my doors with a little dignity........F%^#&
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Things change, life changes, the economy has changed, I have changed, you have changed. They say change is good, well I don't exactly know who "they" are, but I often say that. Last week I was given an opportunity for change. When I opened Salon Moxie, the 2 girls that came with me and I could only take our clients and God forbid they cancelled because we each had a waiting list. Mine happened to be 3 months long, those were the days. I quite working for Matrix, took a year off from working two jobs and opened the salon. Times were good, times were different. Now with the way the economy is, I am working 3 days a week instead of 6 or 7 and you could call me and I could probably find a spot for the the day you call me. Great for you, not so great for me. Financially, after losing 2/3rds of my clientele due to this poor economy, I have lost a lot, my home, my business and the same night the last girl gave me notice that made me decide to close the doors, they came and took my Harley. That is one of the bills that I had sacrificed to keep the doors open. I was in shock, I will admit. I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach. But after absorbing the whole situation and weighing it, I realized that the timing couldn't be more perfect. My lease is up on February 2nd, I had a 5 year lease. With the overhead, I have been in the red the last 2 years. All my girls can only afford to rent part time booths which takes more money from me to keep Moxie open, takes more money out of my family account. We had some awesome times, and some weird times too. All in all, I am glad I did it. Now I know what it entails and now I will go back to renting a booth, part time, which is very inexpensive and I will be set to my 3 days a week. I move in this weekend to Divine Creations, Christi, my partner in crime is coming with me, and because of her, I received a phone call today for an educator to do product knowledge and cutting. A little traveling involved but it will put a little money back in my pockets and give me something to focus on that is positive and has life growth. So I am good, this is good and if the pipes break or we are out of toilet paper, don't call me, it's not my problem any more! So don't be sad for me, I am a survivor and when it rains it pours, I have been in a dry spell lately, so maybe this will put some flowers in my garden!