Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Memoirs of a crazy childhood....Chapter 8
Ahhh Bobby Shields. So many first's, one boy. I must have been 5 or so, kindergarten age, enter Bobby Shields. One year older, one year wiser. Bobby explained to me that I was a baby because there is no such thing as Santa Claus. He also taught me the "F" word. I remember going home and we had frozen pipes under our trailer, so my mom had two men under the trailer working, my mom who says cursing is "a crutch for the vocabulary cripple" and asked her very promptly what those f^*$#@#$ were doing under the trailer? She must not of heard me so I had to of course raise my voice."HEY MOMMY, WHAT ARE THOSE F@#(^$% DOING UNDER THE HOUSE?" hmmm wow, she must be going deaf, she is old of course, probably around 30 or 31 so I had to raise my voice AGAIN. "HEY MOMMY WHAT.." Then she explained to me that that was a BAD word and she HAD in fact heard me. oh...... Then being babysat at Bobby's house I had my first taste of homemade ice cream, mmmmmm and my first kiss. Bobby and I were playing in Sarge's dog house, I think Sarge was a German shepherd if I remember correctly and Bobby told me if I didn't kiss him I had to eat Sarge's dog food. Well I didn't believe him, I ate dog food......he wasn't kidding, and the next time he warned me about that punishment for not kissing him, I kissed him. I do have to say, it was much better than crunching on Alpo. Good Ol' Bobby Shields. Thanks for teaching me all those very valuable lessons of my youth. Without you, I would probably still believe in Santa.