Ok, so I have been missing in action, and I need to clear a few things up, despite the vicious rumours......I DID NOT DROWN IN THE KIDDIE POOL IN BEND, OR. That is an out and out lie! Ok, so it could have happened by my fearless grandson Jack was brave enough to jump in and save me......after he was done flirting with the beautiful Hispanic girl who kept flirting with him and pointing at him and calling him "Baby" What a hussy, cute but please, how many other boys did she point to and call baby?
We have been so busy, Friday went something like this...4am alarm, drag my a$$ out of bed, get a cup of coffee, shower get to work by 5:45. Pay bills on line run to the bank to make a deposit, go to Honda, test drive the Element again, drive over to Ford to bail out Jay's truck from getting an oil change, go back to work, work for 4 more hours. Run to the bank again and deposit rest of dollars earned while lap dancing (JK Mom) back to Honda to sign papers, call Jay get him over there to sign. Jam home, it is now 3pm drop off the Harley, back to Honda to pick up the BMW, drop off at home, back to Ford to pick up truck, back home to pack.......umm I think I haven't eaten all day......pack, (forget underwear, toothbrush and a couple of Jack's birthday presents, perfect) Hit the road at around 5pm. STARVING.....stop to eat dinner @ Bordertown, quick cheap and yes actually good. Hit the road at 6:30pm, on our way to Bend. Stop in Alturas for gas and coffee at around 9pm and to clean the abundance of bugs off of the windshield of my previously clean Element, which happens to be black, so yeah, everything shows. Ask a Police officer how far Klammoth Falls is, hmm 1 1/2 hours, piece of cake after coffee..hit the road, stop in Klammoth Falls to clean bugs off windshield AGAIN. So far the count is 5 coyotes, 6 deer and 1 HUGE buck.....15,987 bugs. Enter La Pine at around midnight, everyone is asleep except for Cracky the Grandma. (Thank you coffee) but I am pooped, no rooms available, except the poor girl at the lodge was having man problems so I had to give her a hug and counsel her for a few minutes, (all in a days work) K, I guess we could make it to Bend, arrive in Bend at 1:45 am, and stop at 3 hotels, all full (wow Bend is a happening place) FINALLY The Shady Lady has a room and only $59 per night, what a bargain. P.U. clean but smells like Camel non-filters , oh well at this point I would sleep under a table in a strip club.
Saturday...up at 7 run the the front office.....COFFEE...thank God, then off the Safeway for our hotel survival kit, Febreeze, Lysol, antibacterial wipes and a candle, oh and a toothbrush (went commando the whole weekend, what can I say, I am a classy Grandma!) Carls Junior for the quickest breakfast (and the most caloricly dense) breakfast in the west. Off to Jacks party! Fun Fun Fun, and Chrissi, being ever to excellent host had a fabulous spread of fresh fruit, sandwiches, cheetos(of course) , cake, brownies, soda, water, cookies. And apparently Jack is quite popular because it looked like Christmas!! Disassemble around 2 so Jack can take a nap, go to smokeshop room at the Shady Lady, change into swimming suits, wait for call, back to Chrissi's at 4:30 after hitting Fred Meyers for Lil' Swimmers and an attempt at water wings. Pick up Handsome Jack, and head to the pool till 6:30 when they close. Time to go back to room, change for dinner, go to El Rodeo for probably the BEST Mexican food and service we have ever had, Return a sleeping baby to momma and daddy at 8:30. Head back to room, take showers, and we are out.
Sunday, wake up at 5 am, get ready, leave the room at 5:30 in search of STRONG coffee while Jay and Stevi wake up and pack, yup I was ready and packed by 5:30 come back, leave by 5:45 with coffee in hand. Drive..........and drive some more..........stop in Alturas, umm, too early I guess at 7:30 on a Sunday, we are starving and no restaurants are open. Wait a few more hours to Likely Ca. and stop at the Most Likely Cafe......um never again, flies, dirt and .......yuk just gross, and hey after staying at the Shady Lady, I felt pretty white trash, but no thanks, I choked it down, but it was not good, at all! Drive.....Drive.......Drive, I need caffeine so lets stop in Hallelujah Junction. It is around 1:30 on Sunday......Jay is putting gas in the car, and cleaning the bugs off the windshield again, and Stevi and I go inside for soda and lotto tickets, then we see her, Julia Louis-Dreyfus with her husband of 21 years Brad Hall (Saturday Night Live) she did not want anybody to talk to her at all, which was obvious as I stood behind her in line, she did and about face and put her back to me twice when I smiled at her. Ok, in her defense, I probably looked absolutely crazed after being on the road for essentially 2 days, no make-up, hair curly from going to bed with it wet and up in a clip, and I am sure I smelled like Camel non-filters and grease (from the Most Likely Cafe) all the while smiling at her like a jackass because I know who she is........leave, make it home by 2, sleep till 6. Get up go to moms, give her money head home cook dinner, clean fish tank, do laundry and.................pass out.