Names have been changed to protect the innocent.......
As you know, I put it all out there. Not for the sympathy vote, not for bragging rights, not for any other reason than......I put it all out there. I have nothing to hide. I live in a fishbowl. For many years I worried so much about what others thought of me, I , like many others, would pretend my life was just perfect. Nobodies life is perfect. I am sorry, if you think it is, you live in a fantasy world.
My blog yesterday was not easy to write. It's hard to see through tears. Living with an alcoholic is a roller coaster ride. What happens when you are insanely in love with a person but their behaviors are toxic to you? This.
I am always surprised when someone approaches me and tells me they follow my blog, especially if it's someone I know in passing. And I am always surprised at the outpouring of text messages, private messages and hugs, phone calls I get after a painful explosion on my blog.
Yesterday I had "Kinsey" come by and send me words of encouragement, I know she understands, she has been there on both sides of the fence. And Thank God I had "Josie" as one of my last clients. She always makes me laugh, I don't think I have even smiled for 3 days and she actually made me laugh and enjoy my 2 hours I had with her. This morning "Rhianna" sent me a text and we have had coffee together in the past to commiserate because, she lives with my husband too, only in a different house. I learned a lot about a woman......"Terri" who private messaged me some very intimate details of her life that broke my heart and made me realize, life isn't easy for so many people, and "Bridie" who I literally went to school with since kindergarten and married her high school sweetheart as well, and has also been where I am, has thanked me and shared her story. In this world there is always another story. Another broken heart, for other reasons maybe but still the same. This is my therapy. I share in hopes that it will help others. To open up discussions, maybe not even with me, but maybe in someone else's life, when their life is not going as planned.
I also follow other blogs and I apparently overstepped a boundary by asking how "Andy" was doing because I read his mothers blog and one in particular broke my heart as a mother. Rest assured, I do not discuss others blogs with everyone, but since that was "Andy's" father I assumed it was ok, I apologize for that. I thought the dad and I had a normal conversation in the privacy of my quiet studio, there was no one else around to hear. As a mother I was reaching out with reassuring words of kindness, nothing else so I apologize sincerely, I had no idea he didn't read your blog or know you even had, a blog since he has mentioned to me that his wife reads my blog and has discussed with me things on occasion regarding its content........So "Angela" please accept my heart felt apology, I guess I don't realize sometimes that since I post things and throw it out to the world that someone else may have a very private life, and I didn't think that I was causing harm.
I really don't know how many readers I have, because I may receive a comment or two if I'm lucky or a like on my FB status, and then I get the wonderful messages from a few great friends.......But to all of you who read for whatever reason......thank you.......any thank you for the words of encouragement, wisdom and kindness. I appreciate every one of you......for thinking, I guess, that what I have to write is somewhat interesting.......for me, it's just my life.......