Monday, May 21, 2012


 Yesterday was a great day.  Beautiful outside, for a good cause and I felt safe on the back of the bike for the first time in a long time.  I didn't have to over think, analyze or worry about what may or may not happen.  I just let it go.
 I decided to enter the Pink out contest which was a cash prize of $125.  I was in it to win it.  I even had on pink eyelashes.  I lost to the cuteness factor of an 8 year old.   I guess that was meant to be, because I would have kept the cash prize and the little shit gave the money back to JP to put towards the charity. (Good lesson from an 8 year old, I still would have kept the money......just sayin')  
Jay's speakers are blown out on the front of his bike so I did a silent auction and bid on 2 Alpine speakers worth $149 and got them for $70 (which is tax deductible because it goes to Breast Cancer) and they are too big for his dash so he would have to put them in his bags which he doesn't want to do, so looks like I just got new speakers for the Honda. (That will make Stevi happy since that is probably what she will be driving in 6 months if she gets her grades up!)
The lil' cutie I lost too......I think she cheated I was pink from head to toe...HELLO!

All in all it was the most relaxing day I have had in awhile.  I looked ridiculous and didn't care...had people taking pictures of me and with me and am supposedly on Candy Barrels FB page today...I need to "like" them to check it out.

Originally I canceled Runamucca because I was afraid of what the weekend had in store, but I now know I am in control of how I feel.  If I feel unsafe or scared, I can leave the situation, and I will.  Even in Winnemucca.  I CAN ride Jay's bike home if I have to , on my own, or rent a car or find a safe ride back somehow.  It's been a very emotional week for me and my family.  As for now, we are all aware that we are the only ones who can control our own lives.  I know what I want and what I don't want.  Jay says that after he now clearly can see the pain he has put me through and I am putting my foot down for myself, not him, not anyone but myself...he only wants to make me smile, not cry again.  I've been here a few times in the last 29 years, all I know is I am in control of only me and I need to take my life day by day.  Today so far, is a good day..............


1 comment:

Elaine said...

She totally cheated. You should have won.