Saturday, January 28, 2012

Fight Fair and other marriage tips.....

Ahh Young love
Jay and I have been married for 25 1/2 years so I can speak from experience.  Our marriage hasn't always been perfect but we love each other despite all of our flaws, mistakes and imperfections.  We got married when I was 17, he was 18.  3 days after he graduated Reed. 1 day after I graduated from Hug. I was pregnant with our first child Jayson.  I guess you could say he was definitely a love child.
The circle of trust 
 Our life hasn't always been easy, perfect or  carefree.  But we have always been able to give each other the respect of forgiveness for our wrong doings, however hurtful, embarrassing or stupid they may have been.  Some have been costly, some have almost cost us our marriage but they all have brought us closer together and taught us when to walk away, when to discuss the problem and when to just forgive and forget. 

When we got married at the young age we were, we were passionately and fearlessly in love, we agreed that night in our hotel room at The Nugget (that was all the Honeymoon we could afford) to never go to bed mad, to always have each others backs no matter what  and to never name call.  (To be honest that last one was broken a few times but shit happens).
And it's on
 Words can hurt more that a slap, a punch, throwing things, how ever some fights could end up.  Why do we try, really try, to use words that cut the deepest to the people we love the most?  We love each other so why would we want to hurt each other so deeply.  I'm not going to say we have never pointed fingers or cussed each other out or belittled each other because that would be a lie.  But we have learned the art and importance of forgiveness and saying I am sorry and fighting at a talking level with respect and listening and always saying 'I love You' despite an angry situation.

If there is anything I have learned since June 7,1986. It's Compassion, Forgiveness, Patience and Kindness , loving each other unconditionally and realizing that the Grass isn't any Greener, if you think it is, it's time to fertilize your own.


A Mom Anonymous said...

Good for you guys! I've been with FG so long now... I think we have a pretty dang good relationship too. I'm amazed at how many marriages break up so easily. Nope, it's not easy but you are right, the grass is not always greener!

Elaine said...

Huh! I left a comment yesterday but it doesn't show. Anyhow, I'm proud of both of you. Good job!