Friday, January 13, 2012

I need a bumper to bumper warranty.....(TMI Blog)

UH OH... Time to go!

OK, I need a bumper to bumper warranty.  I am broken from head to toe as you all know.  First of all, I have never really had to take any prescription pain medication for more than a day or two, and although I should have remembered this because Jay has had four knee surgeries and when my Dad was dying of cancer, he was on some pretty good pain medication as well.

I forgot about the fact that it constipates you.  Yup no poo poo for you, long time. I went to Renown, and an orthopedic surgeon within two days of each other and also went to the pharmacy and not one person mentioned that I may need a little extra fiber.

10 days.......yes 10.  Then I went into labor.  I now know how Elvis died on the toilet.  I almost had to call 911. 45 minutes later I gave birth to a rabid badger that was fighting and clawing for it's life.  I almost died, shit you not (no pun intended ;-).

Now I have to have Metamucil or Activia every day because I am scared to death of going into labor again.  

Next issue.  I pretty much over-dosed on Acetaminophen as you may know from reading my previous blog "You're Fired."  So besides the vomiting, I ended up with diarrhea for the last two weeks, "Dr. Peters" said it's most likely my body trying to rid itself of those toxins.  So my question to you is, what do I do?  I get constipated then go into labor, after I lose my plug it's like a fire hose full blast for oh at least 20 minutes or so, this really sucks for a multitasker such as myself.  Do I still need the fiber intake or not?  I definitely don't need a stool softener.  I also am not sure if I may just have some kind of flu, I am currently drinking Gatorade because I am aware of how dehydrated I am.  My Dr. made me give him a urine sample and it is brown because my liver is working so hard.....(TMI, I know but this is MY blog and you chose to read it despite the content warning!)
My Tebow, before and after...the  "event"

Oh God!.......
Oh and did I mention, I think I may have strep throat or I got a pill stuck sideways on both sides of my throat because despite the Vicodin, Prescription Ibuprofen Cloreseptic and Ceprecol, I can't yawn or even swallow water let alone a pill.  I had to smash them up and put them in water to get them down today because I had to be to work at 6 am.  I think it's time to trade myself in for a new model.......

1 comment:

Liz said...

I just typed out a huge ol' comment and it didn't go through. WTH!? Ok - so, your kidneys are working overtime, too, if your urine is dark. Take Goldenrod for that. Your liver is working overtime too, because of all the meds you're on. Take some Milk Thistle for that. I don't think you should drink too much Gatorade because it's full of chemicals, which is just going to make your liver work that much harder. Not to mention the sugar that is going to make your kidneys work harder. Go with an all natural 100% juice with no added sugar and water. Also, make sure you're eating plenty (and I mean more than typical) fruits and veggies. The fiber in the Metamucil will help form your poop (fiber holds it together), so you have to make sure you're drinking and eating things that keep things moving in that department. I hope you feel better!